A personal exploration into the deconstruction of a Mennonite.

"Nah Sandy, you can’t be a Mennonite you don’t believe!”

This comment, made by my mother, sent me reeling. If I’m not Mennonite what am I? Where do I belong?

This space, The Secular Mennonite, is an exploration into these questions and many more. Where do we all belong when we decide to leave a religion?

I invite you to explore the stories I share here. Hopefully you can relate, find comfort, and perhaps share some of your own experiences of your religious upbringing and how it no longer serves you. I would love to hear from you and read about your own journey of leaving your religion.

Religious Trauma Syndrome RTS

When I learned about Religious Trauma in 2019 and read Dr. Marlene Winell’s book Leaving the Fold I realized that trauma doesn’t just come from religion it also comes from leaving.

In 2008 I went through a divorce. The break up of my nuclear family devastated me. After spending some time in a bottle and wandering the streets I realized the pain I was experiencing wasn’t just from the divorce but residue from an evangelical childhood and intergenerational trauma.

I’ve processed - a lot, talk therapy, somatic experiencing, yoga, meditation, buddhist retreats, mindfulness, practising self-compassion along with reading great books like Scattered Minds by Gabor Mate, From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker, Zealot by Reza Aslan, just to name a few. But every once in awhile I get stuck back there when I was a little girl feeling I was doomed for hell.

The purpose of this space is to get these stories out and on to the page in order to let go of the harsh self judgements I’ve made a long the way. Hopefully making me a more compassionate person towards myself and others.

I’m only human after all.